There has never once been a time in my life when I have relied on Jay Cutler in all my daily fantasy football lineups, and for good reason.
In fact, I’m proud to be able to say that aside from a yearly auto-draft last year, I have never even had him on a single fantasy roster, let alone one of my daily fantasy football lineups. This weekend I made a horrendous mistake when I selected Cutler for about 80% of my daily fantasy football lineups. I felt dirty saving daily fantasy football lineups that included the guy whose breast milk was stolen in The League. I can say with absolute certainty that what I endured when Cutler went down was not one of my finer moments. You will never see him near another one of my daily fantasy football lineups again. Sure, you can argue that injuries happen, and there was nothing he could do, but I choose to play devil’s advocate on this one. Cutler was, is, and always will be the biggest pussy in the NFL. Sure, this time he is actually out for a few weeks with a legitimate injury, but I’m 100% convinced that his crying on the sideline and in the locker room following the “injury” is what REALLY made it serious. Perhaps it was when he decided to write in his diary about how sad he was that he couldn’t man up and play through even a single injury.
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I’m beyond words to describe how much Adrian Peterson let me down on Monday Night Football. Was it really his fault for tanking my daily fantasy football lineups though? I hadn’t ponied up the cash to roster All Day a single time this season in my daily fantasy football lineups. What was even more astonishing was the fact that the Vikings allowed Josh Freeman (who just so happened to look like a blind Michael J. Fox under center) to throw the ball FIFTY THREE times, while handing off to the best player in the NFL a measly 13. If anyone can explain this to me, I’d love to hear it. And don’t give me some bullshit about the Giants loading up the box. It’s not like Peterson has never seen eight guys in the box. Since there weren’t any QB matchups I loved, I saved my money for skill players this week. I’d like to say that I’m using the word “skill” lightly when describing some of the performances by the overpriced piles of garbage that composed my daily fantasy football lineups this week.
A few things are becoming clear as I move further into this season: Every week is separate of the previous week. I know it sounds cliché, but I’m finished with starting guys I never had faith in to begin with simply because they are “playing better”. For example, I never bought into the crazy hot start by Eddie Royal, because, well, he’s Eddie Royal. The guy isn’t just going to become an unstoppable Red Zone force after being barely serviceable his entire career. Another guy is Brandon Gibson. If you had him this week, good for you, he scored twice. The guy still ended up with only 40 yards, and the odds of him getting more YPC than the amount he gets from falling forward are about as good as the odds of the Houston Texans making it through a game without a pick-six. You can have these guys; enjoy them as your “sleepers”, “value plays”, whatever you want to call them. These guys are not worthy of even standing next to a player in one of my daily fantasy football lineups.
Now that I’m in full-on bitch mode, I’ll give you a short list of guys who I haven’t already mentioned that have ZERO chance of ever seeing the inside of one of my daily fantasy football lineups. Joe Flacco, Brandon Weeden, Mike Tolbert, Andre Roberts, Jacoby Jones, Ted Ginn, Peyton Hillis. These guys are automatically eliminated, regardless of salary. I refuse to let any of those bums beat me.
All in all, I didn’t lose every match this weekend. I still ended up pulling back about half of my investment as a result of some easy double ups and H2H matchups, although I wasn’t really in contention to cash in any big tournaments. Fortunately, while Nick Foles and Jay Cutler did their damndest to cost me every penny, guys like Ryan Mathews and AJ Green kept my daily fantasy football lineups above water this week. I guess I’ll send a few shout outs to those guys, as well as Alshon Jeffery and Jermichael Finley (imagine the game he could have had if he didn’t get injured), who were responsible for saving my ass this week.
Moving forward to next week, I will be focusing on safe plays as much as possible. Obviously, you can’t predict injuries, but we all know who can and can’t take a hit. I’m looking at you, Michael Vick, Jay Cutler, Darren McFadden, and Roddy White. You’ll be hard pressed to find many “high-upside” or “high-risk, high reward” guys in my daily fantasy football lineups. I’ll crush you with consistency. I may not have any guys going for 30 points, but EVERYONE will put up 18, and that will be more than enough to cash in a majority of my leagues this week. I look forward to implementing yet another strategy in my daily fantasy football lineups this week, and hopefully never seeing that POS Jay Cutler on The League again.