What’s up NBA fans? Welcome to this week’s NBA Daily Fantasy Strategy BOMB featuring the hottest night in basketball.
Each week I will be breaking down one of the biggest nights in the NBA, Wednesday. With 11 games on the card for tonight my NBA Daily Fantasy Strategy BOMB has everything you need to draft the perfect lineup.
Atlanta Hawks @ Charlotte Bobcats:
The Atlanta Hawks are a team that looks like they’ve been playing Mutant League Hockey with the injuries turned on. They should consider forfeiting the remainder of the season as even their star player J-Smoove has been kidnapped and replaced by lackluster doppelganger, J-Lose. That being said, they’re 3-0 against the Charlotte Bobcats who are in even worse shape as they’ve gone on an 18 game losing streak with an abysmal 0-10 record at home. I’m not sure how they’re selling seats at Time Warner Cable Arena without 90% off tickets or free ounces of gold. Maybe it’s proof that all of those corporate “Meal Deal” ventures are really paying off. I wouldn’t be surprised to see “Jack Links Beef Jerky, sponsored by McDonald’s Big Mac Monster Meal Deal, sponsored by TakeManeyTheFDo Financial Consulting, and if you act now you get 4 free Large Pepsi-Cola’s and an Official Charlotte Stunkbads Tupperware Crockpot night.”
Either way we’re in luck because these teams have guys that can produce daily fantasy points by the truckload, and you don’t even have to watch the game!
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1 – Al Horford
Al Horford has torched the Bobcats with Josh Smith on target and Zaza Pachulia healthy. At this point Zaza is injured and Smoove has left the building. There’s nobody else to play but Kyle Korver and Al Horford. Look for Horford to continue his game of tiddly-winks with the Charlotte Baby Kittens.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2 – Jeff Teague
Charlotte is currently 25th in opponent DEFF versus point guards and Jeff Teague is going to get an avalanche of time with all of Atlanta’s injuries. What’s next? Scaring opponents out of the paint with Tupac Shakur holograms?
Toronto Raptors @ Miami Heat:
I could start this off with something witty about how the Raptors are a joke and the Heat are going to tear them to shreds. The bottom line is that the Raptors are a joke and the Heat are going to tear them to shreds. From a daily fantasy strategy perspective, games like this are always a bit frightful to pick players from. The chance of a blowout is high and the last thing you want from your $20k salary investment is a guy like Lebron James playing Sudoku on his iPhone in the 4th quarter because they’re up by 60. The Raptors are way more competitive at home and I think it has something to do with that hallucinogenic floor paint that probably confuses the competition. Maybe it’s all of the PokerStars advertisements putting online gambling on the minds of their opponents.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1 – Ed Davis
Big Ed’s daily fantasy production isn’t as consistent as Russell Westbrook’s NBA game attendance record but he is improving, and he has the best matchup out of anyone on the Raptors vs. the Heat. If the dinosaurs don’t want to go the way of the dodo they’re going to have to exploit the few chinks that Miami’s armor does have. You’ll also find Ed reasonably priced on most daily fantasy sites. He’s $9150 on Draftday, $6711 on Buzzdraft, and only $3800 on Draftkings.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2 – Chris Bosh
Chris Bosh is about as interesting as white paint and he looks like Scotty forgot to beam him home when the original Star Trek got canceled. I never suspected all those years ago at the drive-in double feature of Gremlins and E.T. that one day E.T would make it to the NBA. That’s marvelous. The only thing that isn’t alien in this situation is the fact that Toronto is horrible against the Center position. In fact, I’m pretty sure they hand out double doubles at the door to go with their Kyle Lowry ninja turtle bobbleheads. This extraterrestrial has been phoning home in most of his recent games so his price is nearing the bargain bin.
Detroit Pistons @ Chicago Bulls:
The Chicago Bulls haven’t lost to the Detroit Pistons since Dec. 23rd, 2008. Why would Jan. 23rd, 2013 be any different? Detroit is one of those teams in the NBA that has a rotating cast of goons with fluffy red wigs and bright green noses. A bunch of droogs logging 20 minutes apiece with no real foundation or cohesion. At this point Rodney Stuckey should be contacting Walter Sobchak to see what he can do for him, and Greg Monroe should be contacting the Illuminati to either jump start a rap career or sell his soul to Satan for more consistency on a gamely basis. Robert Johnson went down to the crossroads and it could work for Detroit’s most talented player as well. As for the Chicago Bulls, they’ll be comfortable coming into this matchup as they’ve just dispatched the biggest clowns in the NBA, defeating the Simpson’s House of Horror worthy Los Angeles Lakers. How Dwight Howard is an all-star perplexes me in a way that no max level game of Tetris ever could. I’m terrible at Tetris by the way, I just listen to the Tengen version on Nintendo for the Russian dance track.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Joakim Noah
Jokey Noway has been emotional to the point of hair crimps and bon-bons lately, but Detroit’s legs are spread at the center position and Noah is feeling quite amorous. Last time they played he dropped around 60 daily fantasy points on the Bulls on 12 of 19 shooting with 6 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks. Carlos Boozer has had the hot hand for a while now, but Noah should be more than endowed to handle this situation.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Richard Hamilton/Marco Belinelli
The Orlando Magic’s J.J. Redick bombed the Pistons with 26 points last night but couldn’t sink their battleship in a 90 to 105 loss. Detroit’s defense is surprisingly reasonable save the center and the shooting guard positions. It’s a toss-up of who is going to do better between Rip and The Italian Stallion, but both are weighing in at dollar bin prices and make attractive value picks. I feel like Hamilton has a slight edge but how many times have we seen the Stallion get back up and fight to victory?
Los Angeles Lakers @ Memphis Grizzlies:
Speaking of the clowns we previously spoke of, here we find Kobe wielding a giant tarnished shovel trying to hoist the rest of the Lakers out of their pile of misery drenched manure to hose them down and shine them up. Kobe Bryant has more heart than a slaughterhouse and his will to elevate himself to unreachable “zones” in tight games is unmatched. I’m just not sure it’s going to be enough. The puzzle pieces are too jagged and their faces are peeling. Pretty soon they’ll be unrecognizable and forgotten to the annals of Lakers history. The Memphis Grizzlies are going through their own period of transition, and though Mareese Speights has been traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers, the fate of Rudy Gay remains to be seen. This should be a good, watchable game of basketball. There’s not much else to say.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Mike Conley
It’s no secret that the PG position is a huge leak for the Lakers. Steve Nash is great at two things, offense and hair. Neither have anything to do with preventing a guy like Mike Conley from getting the best of him. Conley isn’t exactly an offensive juggernaut but he’s a capable player and should produce for his current daily fantasy salary. Last outing vs. the Lakers he dropped 30+ fantasy points on 8/14 shooting.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Metta World Peace
In the last 5 games Memphis is 24th in DEFF against the small forward. Metta World Peace (an apt name for a guy with such unfriendly elbows) has been hot and cold lately but he had a good game versus Chicago, living up to his gangster image with 4 steals, 3 blocks, 8 rebounds, while shooting 4/11 from the field . I don’t always Metta World Peace, but when I do it’s versus the Grizzlies weakest position.
Denver Nuggets @ Houston Rockets:
Speaking of clowns (I know, I know. Again? Hang with me folks, this one is legitimately spooky!) George Karl looks JUST LIKE a Killer Klown from Outer Space. Don’t believe me? Check out the picture over to the side.
OK, so the Houston Rockets have fallen from their Icarus like ascendancy to one of the most exciting teams in basketball to one of the most excremental question marks in the league. Meanwhile, the Denver Nuggets have brought in uniforms that they won’t have to trash if they bomb the rest of the year and say “sigh, fine.” to those Taxi Driver jobs that De Niro said he could hook them up with. They did however, take out Oklahoma City the other day, and they’ve already blasted the Rockets once this season. That means the Houston Rockets should be pretty close to a blank slate for George Karl’s killer Nuggets.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Ty Lawson
It pains me to suggest the frustrated flake that is Ty Lawson. Though he’s wildly variable, when he does go off he usually goes off like a warehouse full of fireworks on Devil’s Night. In the really real world you’ll find Ty where you find Bob Barker. Are you the next lucky contestant? He made 9/20 shots against Houston last match and if I remember correctly that’s when Jeremy Lin still had a pulse. These days they bring out a stitched up scarecrow dressed up like Jeremy and set it near the paint. Not one person has fallen for this ruse yet. I don’t have Ty on my list of potential suckers-to-be.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Danilo Gallinari/Chandler Parsons
As nice as Ty Lawson looks on paper vs. Houston, if they had ANYONE to take advantage of Ty’s null defense they’d hump a huge hole in the Nugget’s game. They’re in last place in the last 5 games vs. PG’s. Chandler and Danilo have a few things in common; First, they’re similar in price and fairly close in daily fantasy points production (though Danilo definitely has higher upside). Second, they both have a reasonable matchup. Third, they’re both pretty likely to end up in a boy band if their NBA careers fall on hard times. Check these guys out and see if either of them grabs you.
Brooklyn Nets @ Minnesota Timberwolves:
The Brooklyn Nets are coming off a sweet win against the New York Knicks in a battle of the gangs of New York on Martin Luther King day. The Minnesota Timberwolves are coming off of whatever alcohol & drugs they’re using to get over the fact that they’re the Timberwolves. You might think that’s kinda rude, but please be reasonable. They’re a bunch of mad Russians and I’m surprised their mascot isn’t Karnov! Ivan “Kirilenko” Drago looks like a deflated version of his former juicing self as the Wolves feet scuff woefully along, continuing their journey to find love. I find these teams to be some of the most boring to watch in the NBA. Brook Lopez shows up looking like Pigpen with tumbleweeds and dust clouds sputtering around him. If you watch him closely when he dunks you can literally see an aura of where he used to be when he lands. If I want funky bursts of dust I’ll break out David Lynch’s Dune and settle in for 2.5 hours of trying to get to sleep. Luckily for us we don’t have to subject ourselves to the medieval torture this game is going to be, and instead we can focus on who is going to produce those daily fantasy points!
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Brook Lopez
Brook Lopez is one of the best scoring centers in the NBA and the Wolves are offering opposing centers an average of 23.4 points and 11.5 rebounds per 48 minutes lately. Sold! Maybe after the game the Wolves can kidnap him and re-raise him as their own out in the Minnesota wilderness. He kinda looks like Mowgli anyway and it’s not like he’s going to miss any of the unopened human hygiene products sitting in his bathroom.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Luke Ridnour
This pick is going to come with a caveat emptor. Luke Ridnour is, well, Luke Ridnour. He seems to be getting the majority of the minutes at the PG position as Ricky Rubio looks like a spastic shadow of his former self, and when J.J. Barea isn’t looking for phone books so he can eat his dinner comfortably he’s busy paying flopping fines. Deron Williams has become mildly consistent since Aviary Johnson was shooed from the coup, but he hasn’t recorded a steal or a block in 5 games and he barely rebounds. Luke could have a good game vs. the recovering Williams.
As an aside, I think Deron is suffering from what has now been revealed as an epidemic plaguing the NBA, pastries. Carmelo Anthony fasted recently to break his pastry addiction, and in the off season he got a lot leaner cutting them out of his diet. John Wall’s knees are back to some extent but we’ve seen the pictures of his pastry laden stomach. He floundered the other night, suffering a case of the pastries. Glen Davis and Al Jefferson are also afflicted by the ravenous pastry disease. I hope the NBA gets these guys help.
New Orleans Hornets @ San Antonio Spurs:
The Spurs lead the season series 2 to 1 but the games have been surprisingly close. It’s too bad the Hornets aren’t going to sniff the playoffs this season because they’ve really improved as a team and have a lot of talent. The have a ton of potential for next season. Greivis Vasquez has gone from a bench guy to the captain and he’s even growing a James Harden beard to go with their new fast paced offense. Both teams are on a 7-3 run in their last 10 games, and even though it’s safe to assume that the Spurs will win this game more often than they won’t, I don’t think the Hornets are going to go quietly into the Texas night.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Tim Duncan
Tim Duncan needs his nap time, this much is true. When he’s not drinking chocolate milk or crying for pacifiers he’s busy destroying opposing teams. The other kids on the playground are sporting naked fists and wimpy arms while Timmy is wielding spiked black leather gloves and what might as well be steel construction cranes. New Orleans has been reasonable against power forwards lately, but things are about to get unreasonable. If Duncan’s price has shot up to the heavens it’s safe to avoid him, but if you can get him for 12% or so of your salary cap, you’re probably sitting pretty.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Greivis Vasquez
Greivis produces daily fantasy points consistently because he’s an extremely versatile player. He can score, assist, rebound and he shoots 3′s too! His only blank stats are steals and blocks and he occasionally gets in foul trouble early. While Greivis is rarely going to put up a 40 fantasy point night he’s almost always going to play 35+ minutes and put up 30 fantasy points. You can usually snag him for 10-12% of the salary cap.
Washington Wizards @ Utah Jazz:
Here we have a battle of the pastry snatchers. The Wizards have been aggressive and sharp lately. They’re a far cry from the team that lost like 20 games in a row at the beginning of the season. That being said they have a long way to go and they’re still the Wizards. The Utah Jazz has been an unexciting team this season. Mediocre to forgettable performances, and a roster full of could-be-traded and is-probably-injured bench hustlers have kept the Jazz from being something special. This ain’t your John Stockton/Karl Malone squad, that’s for sure. With trade whispers looming around you can’t help but feel they’ll stay unmotivated until the waves of the deadline subside. I expect this game to be as competitive as the Jazz want to make it.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Al Jefferson
Big Al, despite being pastry afflicted, is too big and too strong for the Wizards to deal with. He’s the best threat the Jazz have and if you can snake him for a reasonable price, you won’t be disappointed.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: One of the Wizards SG’s
The weakest position for the Jazz is currently the SG. The Wizards have a nice selection of dudes to choose from, but that’s also the problem. Who is going to get the minutes? Who is going to take the shots? Bradley Beal was hot for a bit. Jordan Crawford just hit the game winning shot so he’s gotta be feeling ready to rock. Martell Webster just had a sweet game too. The good news is that these guys are all value-priced and if you can figure out which one is going to get the minutes and the shots, you’ve got yourself a sweet spot.
Phoenix Suns @ Sacramento Kings:
Gangsta gangsta! Jared Dudley and Demarcus Cousins are two straight up G’s. They’re also on a couple of the worst teams in the NBA. Hopefully that will change for the Kings who will (hopefully) soon be the Seattle Supersonics once again. The Sonics were my favorite team so when I came back to basketball I was dismayed to learn of their demise. I come from the NBA JAM days of Shawn Kemp and Detlef Schrempf. Larry Johnson, Alonzo Mourning, Scottie Pimpin’, and uh, Don Mattingly. Yeah, Donnie Baseball. That dude should be in Cooperstown. Anyways, I give the edge to the Kings here as DeMarcus Cousins is a real talent and nigh unstoppable. He’s more likely to be stopped by his own team than the stragglers lurking around on the Phoenix Suns.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Demarcus Cousins
Nothing else needs to be said really. Demarcus has been liquid fire lately, destroying good matchups, implied bad matchups, and tough defenses. The only thing holding him back from being an elite star is his attitude. It’s like he thinks he’s in the fucking Neverending Story and he’s a small girl called the Childlike Empress. They have luck dragons, so maybe they have attitude dragons as well. Someone either run DMC one of those or name that mothermugger so he can build a fresh new kingdom where he’s not the NBA’s Phil Hellmuth.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Shannon Brown
The lowly Kings are dead last against SG’s and Shannon Brown is on a bit of a daily fantasy point upswing. He’s also cheap and easy to slide into your lineup today. Last time Brown played against the Kings he rattled off 10/13 shots and put up 30 fantasy points. If Jared Dudley is up to playing he should share minutes with Shannon, leaving P.J. Tucker getting tucked away for only the rainiest of days. Dudley is a reasonable selection as well.
Indiana Pacers @ Portland Trailblazers:
Where to start, where to start? The Pacers and the Blazers are both capable of playing at a fast pace, though Indiana prefers to take the Mikey McDermott approach of grinding it out. Will the Blazers come out with energy or lethargy? Will Paul George hold true to his poor split FG % or will he drop the hulk fists he has dormant within? You can let me know how it goes because I won’t be tuning in to watch this game! I have MAGIC ROCKS that are currently growing a rainbow strand of seaweed and I wouldn’t want to miss any action.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Anyone on the Pacers!
Honestly, any one of the Pacers are capable of having a big game against Portland. I’m not up to speed on how fast the Pacers are but that’s definitely one thing Portland has a hard time answering. Hibbert is the shakiest and most accident prone Indiana player so I may avoid him, but anyone else with a decent price is good to go.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: Damian Lillard/Ronnie Price
The Pacers are a tight-knit crew. They don’t give up a lot at any position really. They don’t have a lot of glaring leaks to exploit. The weakest position they currently have is the PG due to the inconsistency of George Hill. Even then it’s middle of the road in comparison to the rest of the NBA. Nicolas Batum’s sore wrist didn’t seem to bother him while he was dropping triple double stats the other night, but he’s likely to get shut down against Indiana. If Lillard’s hamstring is busto and Ronnie Price gets the start he’ll be a pretty sweet play for what’s likely going to be minimum salary. Don’t expect him to go Atari Berzerk, but you can expect him to reach value if he starts.
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Golden State Warriors:
The Thunder canceled the Blake Griffith, err, Griffin show last night in Los Angeles with a 109 to 97 win over the Chris Paul-less Clippers. The Warriors have been excellent this year but they’re slightly banged up at the moment and it’s a long way back to Coney Island facing the likes OKC’s fury. David Lee is healing a purple bulbous foot and Stephen Curry is grinding on a less-than-100% ankle. Jarrett Jack has been on a murderous rampage in their wake, though his streak isn’t likely to reach Twin Galaxies high score status against OKC. Can you dig it?
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #1: Kevin Durant
Surprise, Surprise! Unfortunately for the Warriors the SF is their weakest spot. If the game stays competitive you should expect Durant to do what he always does. I don’t have any sweet Durant jokes or anything, so that’s all you’ll get here.
Daily Fantasy Strategy Pick #2: David Lee
OKC’s only real Achilles Heel is their front end. That’s music to David Lee’s ears because that’s where he sets up shop. As long as his heel is feeling alright he’s going to play a big role in keeping the Warriors in the game. Will the Warriors and David Lee come out to play?